Abandoned.
Is there a more powerful hurt. A punch that lands deep in the gut bringing hopelessness with it. Abandonment is a wound that becomes inflamed and oozes hot infection until we cry out in agony.
We have all felt abandoned, haven’t we?
It is this feeling of abandonment, along with a double dose of empathy that got me in the latest predicament. I was heading to the farm to knock out at least three urgent items from my list when I passed a half-starved dog walking down the middle of the road.
Boom! My heart.
I don’t know about you, but the Good Lord has put many a person, and animal, in my path. When this happens, I always -and forever- will have the mindset, “What if this is Jesus testing me?”
Placing the truck in park, I prayed I wouldn’t get bitten and started looking for a pack of animal crackers I believed was still wedged under the back seat. I called, but the dog kept walking, shoulders dropped and head hung low. I remembered my mother saying, “be kind to animals.” I think she said it was a Bible verse. Regardless, this creature was certainly . . .
Abandoned.
Unloved.
Hopeless.
Now I know an animal cracker isn’t what one should give a starving animal, but that was all I had.
“You’re an angel baby,” I cooed as the dog gently took the offering and offered one weak wag of his tail.
Sometimes I have a ziplock bag of dog food in the truck for when I take Lexi with me to the farm. I turned and began digging amidst the tools, and zip ties and tubes of calking I needed for my project.
Nothing.
As I turned, the dog used the last remaining energy to crawl into the backseat.
“Well now. What are we going to do with you?”
At 7 am the animal shelter isn’t open, leaving me no choice but to take him with me to the farm.
He is almost consumed with mange. Not only is he covered with mange, but his skin is red and burning up. Hot to the touch. I grab cloths from my bathroom and soak them with water, doing everything possible to bring down the temperature. Infection oozes from his eyes. The dog is in a bad, bad, way and I am beginning to get angry because he does not deserve this ! I am also crying. A lot.
Eventually, I get the shelter on the phone. Like all shelters, they are full to the brim. This situation has quickly become a “finders, keepers” scenario. The dog seems to understand this. I give him a small amount of food. He takes his place inside the door of the trailer at the farm.
He has been an inside dog. He’s neutered. He loves to ride. I wonder, where are his people? My anger remains.
I guess “his people” now stare at me when I look in the mirror.
Equally difficult, getting into a vet with short notice. I have an appointment for tomorrow (Friday) and I’m worried. I mean, seriously worried, he will have heart worms, or these skin growths are cancer. I’m afraid he will need more care than I can financially afford. I’m afraid the vet will say he has no hope. Most of all, I’m worried that in these four short days we are already so stinking attached to him that if his condition is terminal . . . well, we just can’t even think about that right now.
He had two bad days this week, blood in the urine, and another day of vomiting. It’s hard to bring a dog back from the gates of death. But we are trying. He is improving. Yesterday was a good day. No blood. No vomiting. The tail wags are constant and he wants to be with his people. While there is still infection in his eyes, we also have hope. My nephew had been asking for a puppy and so Mac Lazarus Winchester will live out his remaining days with my brother and nephew, because boys needs dogs just as much as girls need dogs. When I visit the farm, Mac will go with me until his skin condition improves and then he and Lexi will both go with me to the farm together. They will be canine friends.
If you are the praying type, please pray for this dog. Because, truly, I could be living that scripture about entertaining angels while being unaware. And also the heart of a Winchester is a delicate thing and we really need ML Winchester to be ok.
Love to all!
Renea (and Mac Lazarus Winchester)
